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JACK THE GIANT-KILLER of DEPRESSION
"HE BEHELD WITH TERROR A HUGE DEPRESSION GIANT, DRAGGING ALONG A KNIGHT AND HIS FAIR LADY"
 IN the reign's of Brown-the-Halfwit & Calamity Camragoon, there lived in the county of North Nottinghamshire, near the Middle End of England, an eccentric entrepreneur called Jack.
He was brisk and of a ready lively wit, so that whatever he could not perform by force and strength he completed by ingenious wit and policy.
Never was any person heard of that could worst him, and he very often even baffled the learned by his sharp and ready invention.
In those days the Mount of North Nottinghamshire was kept by a huge and monstrous DEPRESSION giant of eighteen feet in height, and about three yards in compass, of a fierce and grim countenance, the terror of all the neighbouring towns and villages. He lived in a cave in the midst of the Mount, and would not suffer any one else to live happily near him.
His food was other people's self-confidence, dignity and pride which often became his prey, for whensoever he wanted food he would stride over to the Kings Clipstone, where he would furnish himself with whatever came in his way.
The good folk, at his approach, forsook their habitations, while he seized on their self-confidence, making nothing of carrying half-a-dozen bags of dignity on his back at a time; he would tie their pride round his waist like a bunch of bandoliers. This course he had followed for many years, so that even Jack eventually became especially impoverished and depressed by his depredations.
One day Jack, happening to be present at the dining table when his wife, son & his three daughters were sitting in council about the giant, asked what reward would be given to the person who destroyed him.
The giant's treasure, they said, was the recompense.
Quoth Jack, "Then let me undertake it."
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