Love is a constellation of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness. The meaning of love varies relative to context. Romantic love is seen as an ineffable feeling of intense attraction shared in passionate or intimate attraction and intimate interpersonal and sexual relationships...

Well, that is what Wikipedia.com thinks about love.

Expressions of love may include the love for a soul or mind, the love of laws and organizations, love for a body, love for nature, love of food, love of money, love for learning, love of power, love of fame, love for the respect of others, etc.

I "love" a good joke!

You know there was an Irishman once who had an English mother and an Irish father. When he was born his mother insisted on calling him Arthur, which of course is a most unIrish name. Consequently he had to go through life with the name of Arthur Mulligan.

Through a great deal of persistence at school, he was finally able to get all his little schoolmates to call him Arty, which at least was a small departure from Arthur. He grew up having a considerable chip on his shoulder about his name and when he left school he joined the Republican Party to prove he was an Irishman and not of English persuasion.

Over time he became somewhat of an adept at bombs, weapons and all the means of waging war on the British, so much so that he was on the English Army's most wanted list. For about five years he managed to elude them whilst waging his war of terror on the British. Eventually however, as a last resort he decided to emigrate to Australia where he believed he would be beyond their reach of the British.

On arriving in Australia, he was without a job and without a trade, in fact without any skills that could earn him any money apart from his experience with weapons and wreaking havoc.

Whilst down the local pub one evening he was talking to a bloke who was saying how he was so sick of his missus that he just wanted to kill her. Now here was an opportunity for Arty because it was an area in which he had vast experience. He asked if the bloke was serious and he replied that he was. Arty offered to do the job for him there and then. The bloke asked how much he would charge for such a task and Arty, after thinking carefully, offered to do the job for one dollar provided the bloke could provide him with a good reference so he could get more jobs of this sort.

The bloke was quite overjoyed with the price and agreed to the one dollar fee and the reference if the job was done properly. He proceeded to advise Arty of the wife's movements. Every Thursday, which was the next day, she went shopping at the local market. Surely Arty would be able to catch her then and bring about her demise. The bloke provided a photo of his wife so Arty would be able to identify her at the market.

The following day Arty went to the supermarket and lay in wait for the wife. Eventually he spotted her and using all his tailing skills, followed her into the supermarket. He carefully selected various items to place in his own basket so she would have no idea she was being followed. There were people all over the place, but when she entered the fruit and vegetable aisle, all was quiet and no-one was around.

With the opportunity available, Arty quickly dropped his basket, rushed over, grabbed her by the throat and began choking her to death.

Unfortunately, he didn't have his grip quite right and she was able to utter an enormous scream which brought people running from everywhere. Arty, diligent to the end, continued to choke the wife, but had to give up as the markets's Assistant Manager was pulling him off.

He then began choking the Assistant Manager when the Market Manager rushed in to pull him off and he started choking the Market Manager. Then customers started into the fray and Arty was going from one to another choking each of them in turn until finally at the tenth choke attempt the police arrived, handcuffed him and dragged him off to jail.

The next morning, the headlines in the paper read "Artichokes Ten For A Dollar"!

NOTE: Arther Mulligan is fictitious... but the Mulligans probably can trace their linage back to when Ireland was ruled by Kings and Queens. One Mulligan in particular will often "choke" on 12 cans of Guiness and a bottle of Bushmills whiskey!! The Artijoke has been adapted from an original joke told by my mate Bushie.

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